


Drunk Dialling

by ileolai



Series: Fawlty TARDIS [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Missy is ridiculous everyone suffers, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 12:15:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12168702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ileolai/pseuds/ileolai
Summary: ''Oh, great. It's the daughter one. Do you like her? I like her.''





	Drunk Dialling

**MISSY** : (On the TARDIS phone) Ding dong, Avon calling!

 **KATE:** (Groggily ... it's 4am in the morning) ... Who is this?

 **MISSY:**  It's me, your very best friend in the whole Universe darling. Up for a chat?

 **KATE:**  (Awake) ... How'd you get this number?

 **MISSY:**  C'mon. How's daddy dearest? Still a big nasty robot? We were such good friends, you know. Back in the day.

 **KATE:**  (Facepalming) Christ... What do you want? The Doctor, I suppose?

 **MISSY:** Oh no dear, he's right h-- oi!

 **DOCTOR:** (snatching the phone) Don't even --

 **KATE:** Doctor?

 **DOCTOR:** Er, yes, hello Kate--

 **KATE:** Is everything alright?

 **DOCTOR:** Yes fine-- hey-- get off!

 **MISSY:** Nnngggg~ (is licking the Doctor's face and giggling)

 **KATE:** What's going on?

 **DOCTOR:** She got-- she got into the wine -- stop it-- stop licking me!

 **MISSY:** Kaaate. He's keeping me prisoneeerrr. Kaaattee.

 **DOCTOR:** Get OFF--

 **MISSY:** (whining) And he won't even make love to me, Kate.

 **DOCTOR:** For God's sake--

 **MISSY:** Send one of your big shooty soldier men. With the- the uniforms. Please. I'm _dying_ here, Kate. 

 **DOCTOR:** _Missy--_

 **KATE:** Doctor.

 **DOCTOR:**  There's a perfectly good explanation chat soon bye (hangs up) ... Good job, Yeltsin. 

 **MISSY:**  I was talking to my friend, you tit. (Shoves him) No one invited you.

 **DOCTOR:**  Yeah, well now we can't set foot on Earth without UNIT swarming us.

 **MISSY** : ...Mmmnot seeing the issue...

 **DOCTOR:** Nardole's never gonna shut up about it, you know.

 **MISSY:**  Oh. Good point. Hm. Guess we'll have to eat him, then? Unfortunate...

 **DOCTOR:** I'm putting a lock on the phone.

 **MISSY:**  Blaaaaaaaaaa


End file.
